Journal Entry 34 Rough Draft
Learning English Language
In 2007, people start to learn second language more than the past that over 1 billion people are currently learning English world wide. They want to have a good quality life. Then they realize that English is an international language, for country they usually uses English language to communicate together. There are three reasons to learn English. These include promotions at work, increased knowledge, and travel benefit.
The first reason to learn English is promotions at work. It is the fact that English skill is important for find job. If they can speak English which is second language very well, they are the first persons that the company will consider of vacant position of company. Then they will receive high salary and good position. They don’t have problem to communicate with foreign partner or to visit in abroad.
The second reason to learn English is increased knowledge. They can study dissertation abroad to do their project such as science, biology, and business. Then they can receive express news in abroad by internet or CNN channel on TV. For example, the investor will read news about trend of international economic that has affected their stock.
The third reason to learn English is travel benefit. They can save money because the price for travel abroad by packet tour is more expensive than travel by themselves. They can choose to save money of hotel and food while they travel abroad. They have more freedom because they don’t have problem to communicate with other. They can travel Europe, American and Australia. All of these countries speak English. They will receive. Guide tours usually have same program tour, so they don’t go some interesting place. They can go by themselves in this place.
In conclusion, learning English is good opportunity in their life. It has been affected in future. They can get good position and high income. They have several channels to research new information. They can decrease of business by following international news. They have more experience to travel.
http://esl.about.com/od/englishlearningresources/f/f_eslmarket.htm
3 comments:
this is good introduction but you should not use "opportunity" three times.
I think it is a funnel introduction and there is a clear thesis statement. You did a good job. And I found a grammar mistake. There is no subject in this sentence "for country usually uses English...". I thought it should be "for country they usually uses English...".
Corrected:
1. "they usually uses" : they usually use
2. "communicate together" : communicate to each other
3. "to choose to learn" : to learn (omit "to choose")
4. use this word just one time "opportunity"
It does funnel and include a clear thesis statement.
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